MEET THE FOUR CRUCIAL ENERGY SKILLS FOR PERSONAL MASTERY & CONFIDENCE.
The Four Energy Skills Every Healthy Adult Needs to Thrive
You might think that “managing your energy” sounds like new-age jargon. After all, you’re a competent, intelligent adult—why would you need to think about something as intangible as energy?
But here’s the truth: learning to manage your energy isn’t just about surviving life’s curveballs—it’s about thriving day in and day out in your most grounded, authentic self.
Let’s dive into the four fundamental energy skills that every adult needs for personal mastery—and why they matter more than you realise.
The Foundation: How Energy Patterns Begin
To understand energy mastery, we need to go back to the beginning—your childhood.
As babies, we are wide-open, undefended beings, absorbing everything in our environment. We are like little sponges, picking up not just sights and sounds but the emotions and energies which surround us. At this stage of life, we rely entirely on our caregivers to meet our needs and create a safe environment for us to thrive.
But life isn’t always ideal. Most of us, even those of us with loving parents/caretakers, experienced moments where our needs weren’t fully met. Maybe you felt unseen, unprotected, or overwhelmed by emotionally charged situations. As tiny, undefended humans, we didn’t have the tools to regulate our experiences. Instead, we adopted survival patterns to cope with the distress.
These survival patterns—best thought of as ways of feeling, behaving, thinking and managing energy—kept us afloat. But here’s the catch: these patterns didn’t disappear when childhood ended. Most of us carry these ingrained habits and perceptions into adulthood, often unconsciously. When we face stress or overwhelm, our subconscious flips the switch, and suddenly we’re operating out of old survival mechanisms instead of our empowered, adult selves.
Energy mastery begins by identifying these patterns and stepping out of the reactive “trance” they create. When we reclaim our awareness, we can meet the present moment with clarity, rather than reacting from an outdated playbook.
The Four Crucial Energy Skills
Reclaiming our energy and grounding it in the present requires four essential skills. Each one helps us step out of survival mode and embody our true, empowered selves.
1. Grounding: Reclaiming Safety and Support
Being grounded means being present in your body and feeling supported, physically and energetically. It’s about more than just “staying calm” in a moment of stress—it’s about your connection to the earth and the felt sense that life is holding you.
When we’re ungrounded, we might feel scattered, anxious, or perpetually “on edge.” Some people rarely feel grounded, constantly living in their heads or “floating” away from their bodies. For others, grounding disappears the moment stress hits—they disconnect as a survival response.
Grounding isn’t just a skill; it’s an experience of safety. When you’re grounded, you feel stable, supported, and secure. This sense of being “held” by something larger—the Earth, life itself—allows you to relax and navigate challenges with more resilience.
Reflection Prompt: When do you feel most grounded? What practices (like walking barefoot in nature, breathwork, or mindfulness) help you connect to the earth?
2. Boundaries and Edges: Knowing Where You End and Others Begin
Every healthy organism, from a single cell to a human being, needs a boundary. Your edges define where you end and the world begins, regulating what comes in and what stays out.
In childhood, many of us didn’t learn how to hold healthy boundaries. Perhaps your boundaries were violated—through neglect, criticism, or a lack of respect for your needs. Maybe you were never taught how to assert your limits. As adults, this often manifests as difficulty saying “no,” people-pleasing, or, in some cases, an inability to read and respect the boundaries of others – leading to unconscious overstepping.
Healthy boundaries aren’t just about saying no—they’re about holding your space with clarity and confidence while respecting others’ limits. This energetic awareness ensures there are no blurred lines and, for example, you don’t lose yourself in relationships or take on responsibilities that aren’t yours.
Reflection Prompt: What does a “yes” feel like in your body? What does a “no” feel like? Start tuning in to these signals—they’re your inner compass for boundaries.
3. Core Awareness: Anchoring into Your Centre
Core awareness is the ability to stay connected to the centre of your body, your “home base.” Think of it as the anchor that keeps you steady, even when life feels chaotic and tries to pull you off kilter.
This connection to your core allows you to sense your emotions, physical sensations, and deeper truths in any given moment. Without it, you’re adrift—unable to identify what you feel, what you need, or how to respond. It is particularly relevant if you identify as an “empath” or “sensitive” person.
Your core is also the channel for higher energies, connecting you both to the earth below and the divine or creative source above. When you’re rooted in your core, you can act with authenticity and alignment.
Reflection Prompt: Take a moment to place your hand on your heart or belly. What do you notice? Practice checking in with your body throughout the day to build core awareness.
4. Mine/Not Mine: Discernment of Energy
This skill is about understanding what energy belongs to you and what you’ve picked up from others.
Have you ever walked away from a conversation and felt anxious or out of sorts and upon reflection, you can’t figure out why. You felt perfectly fine heading into the conversation but after you left you felt ‘flat’. Chances are, especially if the conversation was emotionally loaded – say a friend was upset and letting off steam about a range of issues, that you may have inadvertently taken on their energy and are carrying it with you now.
This is a new concept for many and perhaps the first time you have contemplated it, but, many of us, especially those who grew up with dominating, volatility or enmeshed parents, struggle with this distinction. If your caregivers imposed their beliefs, expectations or emotions on you, you may have learned to absorb others’ energy as your own. Usually, to try and restore the harmony or help another person.
As adults, this leads to confusion: “Do I feel this way, or is this someone else’s energy I’ve taken on?” Without clarity, it’s hard to act authentically and make decisions for yourself. Learning to distinguish between “mine” and “not mine” is crucial for self-expression and emotional freedom.
Reflection Prompt: Think of a recent situation where you felt overwhelmed. Was the intensity yours, or did you pick it up from others? Practice releasing what isn’t yours through visualisation or grounding exercises.
Stepping Into Energetic Mastery
Energy mastery isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. As you read through these four skills, you may notice areas where you feel strong and others where there’s room for growth. That’s okay. Reclaiming your energy is a journey, not a destination.
The more you practice grounding, boundaries, core awareness, and discernment, the more you’ll notice old patterns falling away. You’ll feel more present, more empowered, and more aligned with your true essence.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Your energy is the foundation of your personal power and the cornerstone of how you show up in the world authentically.
If this resonates with you and you’re ready to deepen your awareness and skills, I’d love to support you. Reach out today to book in for a session or initial call.
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